A Bogged Day. Recollection of the past

I woke up this morning feeling fresh, feeling good, feeling great, I began my morning ritual of cleaning up my house, starting with the kitchen. I put on a Heroes episode that I have not yet watched to quickly turn it off again, I needed some music. Went on Roku and clicked on the youtube menu, searched my brain for some songs that I wanted to hear, “this is bigger than us”, ” jay coles- work out”, and some other singles, It was a great morning, I was dancing and it was great fun and then my emotions hollowed out, I went back to a memory of me hanging out with mr./ms. X and him/her just killing all the creativity around, that guy/girl is cursed, cursed with lack of funness, “come come now you can have a little fun”, nope, just sucks out all the air out of everything, his/her greatest joy is causing as much misery to the people around him/her as he/she can. Let me tell you about this person. The first time we collided I was fascinated, intrigued, overwhelemed and it was a time in my life where I was lost and needed some answers and it was exciting to be around them, but that was all a facade, little by little it turned out this person was a rock, and not a rock in the sense that people say “oh he/she is my rock, they keep me grounded”, no,  it was in the sense that even at the young age that she/he were at they have become a rock, tunnel vision. No flexibility to emotion, no range in experience, it was only one type of experience, destruction, because being vulnerable and organically authentic with another person was too scary for him/her through out his/her whole life, they couldnt bare break down in tears or be defeated emotinally, he/she always had to be on top, the only way for a human to do that is to destroy and only destroy, burning your own heart, over and over and over again, until it has become encrusted with ashes, not like a smokers heart, a smokers heart turns black from the inside out, this person heart has been getting crusted with burned flesh from the outside in. I saw it one day as we were hanging out, that was the last time we hung out and hopefully I will never see this person again as long as I live, that would be useful to me so as to remind me that people like him/her are out there and I really need to be aware and pay attention to the crowd that I choose to be around. -Mr. Aches   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JW0yynlDmqQ


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