People who bother and intimidate you

In one of the first posts I’ve written on wordpress I wrote about my first experience of mixed martial arts.

Two days ago in a boxing class I met a character who during the whole class would try assert dominance over me, intimidate me, and put me in a position where I would be scared of him. He can talk in Russian and so can I, so he would switch from Russian to English, telling me stories of how he would beat people up outside of class and he would pretend to punch me, and he began to get inside my head.

 When it was happening I didn’t really know what was going on because I’m not too familiar with the feeling of this kind of situation, and when I was in the moment I did feel something funky going on.

The next day, and the day after that, I don’t know whether it was my “psychic” ability, or just my brain doing it on its own, I began to see a full picture of who this individual is and what he is trying to do with me. It began to bother me through the following days.

I would go to sleep thinking about this situation and ways to resolve and I would wake up the same way. I was, and still am (i have not dealt with him since then and the next class is on wednesday) spending waaaaaaay too much time energy on this individual.

My brain and my emotions keep lashing out and coming up with scenarios where I tell him off, its affecting my interaction with people around me and my work. And I know I will tell him off because when something bothers me this much, and there’s a lot of time and space between the instance and the next time you collide with the person you have a quarrel with, there’s a lot of build up happening.

It bothers me so much that I wrote parts of this blog last night to cool off. Writing helps a little, but only a little, just enough for me to survive until Wednesday where I can confront him. I’m looking forward to it.

The different ways I’ve come up with would be:

A. Skip the boxing class for a couple of weeks until I can cool off, and when I come back I can deal with him with a cool head.

B. To ask to talk to him in private and tell him. “hey, remember the first time we met? you were really nice to me. And the second time we hung out you turned into a complete dick and a tool.”, “now, I don’t “NEEEED” (accentuate the need and really connect with this word) people like that, like you in my life”, ” I don’t want to do business with these kinds of people, I want nothing to do with you”, “so, I wont be hanging out with you EVER again, ever again””when you come to class I am a ghost to you, and you are a ghost to me” ” I don’t want to know you””leave me alone and never talk to me again”, “if you begin to bother me again, I’ll talk to coach, and if he cant fix I wont come to class any more, and he doesn’t want to hear this.”

At this moment I am favouring approach B.

I will not tolerate these kinds of people anymore, they’re just utter garbage. I’m not sure but something tells he’s what the american culture calls a “thug”.

And spending that much energy on him and the work that has to be done with him that his parents have not- I might be too harsh on him in this part- has no interest for me. Not in the slightest.

Pheww, felt good to vent this. Thank you for reading this. And i hope you got something from this post that you can learn from.

Here is Joe Rogan talking about negative energy and dumb people.

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