as I steered off the trail of my focus ( I relapsed with my addiction)
I don’t really know what happens, your state of mind goes blank and you’re on your way; destroying your life and not being aware of it.
And now Im reaching an age where for me, for my current state of mind, it is unacceptable to relapse, I have been clean for two weeks now and it feels like 5 years, if I relapse one more time, which I wont. I cant., there is a chance I will give up on life.
This reminds me of when I was a kid and a friend of my parents’ had a patch of poison sown into his stomach area and it would dissolve if he ever drank again, and kill him. I didn’t understand why someone would do such a thing, now I do.
Anyway through the relapse, what keeps me hungry, what keeps me going, are my daily rituals.
My sweet sweet daily rituals. As I write this I’m soaking in a golden bath with feelings of joy, my babies.
All the books that I have read through, and the exercises/gems I found and have been doing them for 2-5 minutes each for the last 2-3 years have saved my life.
I think everyone has daily rituals.
I believe I am more self aware of mine then others are of theirs.
Think of what your daily rituals are? What is their purpose? Mine is clear my thought and my body of unwanted garbage.
Brushing your teeth is a ritual. You brush your teeth for their health and for appearance, also so that food doesn’t rot in your mouth and create an awful stench.
Showering is a ritual, some people believe showers ground your energy from the head down with the flow of the water.
Breakfast is a ritual… etc..
Writing this I’m realizing everything you do is a ritual to propel you in life.
The way you walk can be a ritual. is a ritual?
Ill end on this note, thank you for your time and you have a beautiful day