19 days clean. It has been 19 days since I last relapsed.
I read the last couple of my posts and I thought to myself, ” I wrote this?… this is garbage!”, I’m glad I wrote them though because I can look back and see what was happening with me.
It was as if I had no life energy. No life in the writing, no life in me. Must have been hard to deal with me as well.
Life is so much better when you’re not spending it on stupid stuff, so much better. We humans, are factual beings, we don’t do things randomly! Even the random things upon inspection will reveal they are not as random as they seem.
I labelled my addiction as escape from life, life would push a little too hard= time to escape. life would push a little too easy= time to escape (because I could afford it, or at least that’s what I told myself)
it is equivalent to not wanting to live any more, or taking a break from being alive, from which there is no rest as long as we are in our bodies. The only way to improve our situation is to feel better in our bodies. Good food, good shelter, good care of our bodies and fulfilling spiritual,physical, and emotional needs and desires.
I hope you’ve been having a great day and continue to do so, I know I need work on closing these posts with a little more flow, I will work on that in the coming weeks. Thank you for your time and you have a pleasant day.