My way out/through depression

I have struggled with addictions in the last 4 years, and in this post I will discuss the methods I used to get myself out of the dark places that I have been to.

In the last batman movie, Bruce Wayne (batman), was depressed, demoralized, seemed hopeless. It wasn’t until the city he loved so much got into a terrible situation that he was able to come out of it. I had a similar experience.

In the past I have been stuck in a cycle of relapsing and getting sober for a few weeks then relapsing again and things didn’t seem to get better, I was aware of that, and I decided to try something different.

I decided to exhaust the need to self destruct, and destroy others. Mainly it was exhausting the desire/need for self destruction. I went “balls out” on my addiction, using 7-15 times a day, I got to the point where I would wake up and all I would think is suicide, and all through out the day all I thought about is suicide, it got so bad, it got soooo bad that I would be in pain all the time, until… that part of my brain shut off ( the part that wanted to self destruct), and I cried, I cried and I cried,  and I could see clearly what has been going on and I hugged myself, I love myself so, so much, and my love for myself is worth more than anything in my life ( money, power, women, things). And slowly I started my new journey and this time I don’t think there is going back because this journey is much too much fun.

Hope you enjoyed my outburst of emotion, thank you for reading and you have a wonderful rest of the day.

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