Issues with my dad

There have been very few times where I have been proud of my dad.

He saved a horse once, when he was working as a security guard, I took great pride in that. And he beat someone up once (or so I heard). Of course he provided for my family when we were growing up and I appreciate him for that.

Other than that I have been disappointed with my father.

He’s terrible at looking after himself for the last 23 years that I’ve known him.

He doesn’t clean, takes a shower once a week, and has no social awareness in this area at all. It has been infuriating.

I went camping a few days ago and my dad came on the last day with my mom. They got drunk and went for a swim in a little lake, and afterwards he walked around the camp-sites in his underwear and I had to look people in the eye as we were passing them. It brought back all the memories, all the teacher/parents conferences to my memory and the embarrassments I’ve felt towards my dad in that walk.

I want to be done with dealing with this issue.

The reason behind his actions from what I could come up with is, his mother died when he was a small boy I think 4-5-6 years old, and he was raised by his grandmother. His grandmother did everything for him, cook, clean, and he just played all day everyday. And now he expects the same thing.

I won’t be the person to be around if my mom leaves him. I just won’t, it’s his journey and Im not interesting in dealing with him with those issues. He’s had 40-50 years (Im not sure how old he is) to work on himself and if he hasn’t so far Im not interesting in helping him do those kind of changes, I’ll provide monetary support when I can but not my time, he didn’t with me and I won’t with him. Fair is fair.

My mom taught me to clean after myself, and in the process I have been cleaning after my dad my whole childhood.

It’s a frustrating topic for me. I’m not sure how it will resolve itself.

As always, anyone reading this, thank you. And you have a nice day!

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