Dealing with instability

In the past few weeks I have been dealing with issues associated with my chest.

Tension in the chest area, tightness, light pains.

And a couple of days ago I thought I should take the door off of my room in my house so that I do not close it anymore, and start letting things in.

I was feeling good about this decision.

The next morning my mom got drunk in the morning, and continued to  do so in the next hours.

I am glad I had not taken my door off. I shut the door, and the craziness continued.

In my childhood I remember my parents getting drunk to the point of blackout. My dad not able to walk and driving me and my brother for 30 minutes to our home numerous times. My mom lying wasted in our bathtub with a small bit of poop on her shoulder, and I have to take care of them in those states.

I have a lot of disappointment stored in my belly towards my parents.

They reprimanded me what seems to be so much and so severely, and yet no one was there to reprimand them for their shitty behaviours with my  life and my brothers.

I sigh as I think about it.

Thank you for reading and you have a nice day.


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